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30-Apr-2020 00:33

Well, now I have an idea about all of that, so figured I could update you!

Like Marlowe, Major took immediately to the breast. If you read my last article, you know that I ended up having to get Marlowe’s upper and lower Frenulum cut in order to establish a comfortable and productive breastfeeding latch.

I didn’t do the “Infant Led Breastfeeding” this time around, because I actually forgot. I was so swept up in the moment that I put him on my breast instead of allowing it to happen. Turns out it didn’t make much of a difference in his appetite for breast milk, or his ability begin the suckling process. I was on high alert for it this time around, and I noticed almost immediately that breastfeeding Major was VERY uncomfortable for my nipples.

There a version latching difficulty this time around, though. Since I had forgotten almost everything about newborns in the past two years (it wasn’t until day two with him that I even remembered I was supposed to be BURPING HIM….doiiiii) I thought it was possible that this discomfort (dare I say pain?

On “good days” it was fine, and Major would be able to easily get a robust and full feeding from me– but then on the bad days or weeks when I was having a hard time emotionally, my supply would suffer.

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Well luckily, the amazing Happily Eva After community had my back on this one!I would put so much pressure on myself to battle the anxiety so that my son’s food source wouldn’t suffer. I hadn’t introduced formula yet because I had so many feelings about using formula at a point “earlier” than when I had introduced it with Marlowe.When I would fall short (which you always do when you try to strong-arm anxiety! I still had to be supplementing his diet with saved milk from the freezer, and each time I used one of the bags, I would get even more upset that my supply of saved milk was dwindling. I felt like the Breastfeeding Police were going to somehow know the second I made the decision and blame me for not trying hard enough, for not battling through and finding a solution.Even though I remembered how much happier Marlowe and I both were when I started formula with her at four months, my own feelings of self-doubt and guilt wouldn’t allow me to view it as an option this time around.

Basically, I was living out the exact opposite of my own advice. Kyle finally stepped in and asked me to stop torturing myself.I have enough saved to last two weeks with that plan.

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